Being my first post, I’ll start with why I want to write. I have something to say. I have a lot of things to say especially about learning to write, solopreneurship, spirituality as a business resource, and the mother wound. But first you should know a little bit about how I got here.

I worked for a decade as a brand development coach, and in that role, I had to contend with, or at least confront, the angst I felt about the glorification of the badass broad. I remember reading content on The Middle Finger Project and feeling so depressed because I could see the way people responded to her writing. I knew that I would have to offer a strong perspective to gain followers, but I couldn’t do it in an audacious way. I knew I couldn’t be a “heart of business” type like Mark Silver or a Tad with Hippy Marketing. I began to understand that I couldn’t embrace my voice without all the influences that shaped me.

It was the thinkers, philosophers, and anthropologists that inspired me. Yet I felt hung up because these influences, Etty and Emily, Simone, and Margret, were not giving direction towards the marketplace. They were not about getting things done or standing out. Instead, they pointed to how life could be different and that my experiences were valid. I was getting glimpses of what it would be like to genuinely inhabit the world and create a tiny little home in the vast internet. One that feels sacred, thoughtful, spacious, and inviting. And I know that it isn’t going to appeal to the vast majority of the readers. It will be something, though. It will be a haven for those who need more. For those who want to pull from the corners of their dusty shelves something that was tucked away for safekeeping or simply forgotten. And as they pull the artifact off the shelf and dust it off, a flood of emotion comes rushing in. Recognition of a treasure that is theirs alone. It means something to them even if others don’t recognize it.

This is how I got here. I wanted to create something from my experiences that would help others. Before I could do that I had to heal from a mother wound. Shelley’s quote, “Poetry turns all things to loveliness; it exalts the beauty of that which is most beautiful, and it adds beauty to that which is most deformed” comes to mind as the easiest way to explain the path I chose. In poetics we learn to arrange good things with rhythm and order, to shed tears so fertile they grow new life and new habits of harmony.

I couldn’t do the bad ass broad approach. It is a way to create psychological safety. It helps some women play a bigger part in their life and certainly creates a strong point of view. Shakes things up and gets attention. But that persona becomes airbrushed strength on the outside leaving the inside terrified. I wanted an alternative to developing my brand so that I could grow without a façade.

I think about the way my grandmother was with me. The way she loved me lingers still, shaping the way I see the world. I’m more attuned to tenderness and notice the weary smile of another. I can return it with the full force of understanding. I need to write about these things.